love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
