I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize