I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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