This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
