it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
