I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
