so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
