it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
