its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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