so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
