I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
