I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize