Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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