I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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