I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
