it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
