Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
