She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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