just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
