Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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