i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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