I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
do herpes really smell.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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