Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
