i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
