508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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