Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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