went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
