WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
