I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
