OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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