What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
