I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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