They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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