More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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