Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
