I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
