As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
