i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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