no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize