he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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