Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
