Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
