Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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