How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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