sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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