do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
