Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize