Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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