Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
