You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
