I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
