porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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