Please, let me fuck your mom
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
