if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
