I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
smell my finger.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
