There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
