So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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