Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
did you just send me my own nude
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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