Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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