My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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