Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
