Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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