We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
