just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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