I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
