I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
