The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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