Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Randomize
